Oh, By The Weigh | March 16, 2012

The Bad News: I have still not worked up the courage to get on the scale.

The Good News: I'm feeling great and my pants are feeling looser.

I feel like I'm doing things right. My head is in a good place, most of the time. I'm getting in great workouts, consistently. I'm eating great, 85% of the time.

But I'm still afraid to get on the scale. Afraid of what the mental consequences might be. I'm just not sure I'm willing to risk the great motivation I seem to have right now. But I think it might be time. Next Friday I'm getting on that scale no matter what.

Cause even though this journey is suppose to be about getting healthy and feeling good, I'm also doing this to lose weight. I want to be thinner. I want to look better in clothes. I want to feel better about myself. I want to be able to do anything I want to do and not feel like my weight is holding me back, either mentally or phisically.

And I need to make sure I'm moving in the right direction.

I also think that getting on the scale again will help hold me more accountable. It's easier to not track when I'm not weighing in, cause I feel like it doesn't matter as much. It's easier to have that ice-cream after dinner, cause I won't feel it on the scale latter.

Maybe, most importantly, I miss that feeling of actually losing weight and having the evidence right there in front of me. Sure, I think I'm looking thinner, but that is such a subjective thing for me...my mood and how I'm feeling about myself completely impacts my body perception. It's crazy how much it does.

So here's the plan:

• Have a great week. Do what I've been doing and take it to the next level. 
• Food: I'm plan on preparing my own dinners this week. I want to put clean, simple food into my body. I want to provide myself with the best fuel possible. 
• Workouts: Continue running and doing the circuit at Planet Fitness.
• Keep myself busy: I want to make sure I'm working on job applications, practicing my graphic design and being crafty. Also, I want to make sure I'm getting the everyday little chores done (bill paying, doctor appointment making, etc). I'm stressed about life right now and my go to coping mechanism is to avoid all of that. I'm not avoiding life this week!
• Read: I just really enjoyed getting back into reading this past week and it made me happy. I'm going to make time each day to read a book. (Not just blogs!)

On Friday, when I weigh in, I'm going to take my measurement first. I have finally implemented a consistent strength training plan, and as a result I might be getting heavier, but fitter and tighter and thinner. I'm taking measurements first so that I can hopefully see some progress even if the scale isn't exactly where I want it to be.

And most importantly I'm going to work on having faith this week. Faith in myself. That I can do this and I'm making the right choices to get to where I want to be. Faith that it won't happen all at once, but if I keep working towards it (all of it: weight, confidence, life, job) it will happen.

So here is to a great week of doing and not just hoping!