Oh, By The Weigh | March 2, 2012

Good week this week. I tracked...most of the time. I got in lots of great activity. And I managed to keep myself busy. But I still didn't weigh in this morning. I think there is a big part of me still not over being stuck at 180-something for so long. I don't like the number on the scale and when I weigh in that becomes the focus. I forget about all the good things I have done. I get frustrated all over again. I lose confidence in myself and then I lose motivation.

At the gym on Thurs.

I'm also staying away from the scale because I think I got really good at finding ways to trick the scale: only weighing in first thing in the morning, eating very little the couple days right before my weigh-in day, staying away from anything with any significant amount of salt. The scale would go down a couple pounds, but it wasn't a real loss. And it would work for a couple weeks, but then I would be up again and I would be upset and lose motivation.

So, I haven't weighed in since Feb 3.

I do have to say that in a lot of ways it makes it really hard to know exactly where I stand. I have no idea how much I weigh right now. I could be 190 or I could be 180. My clothes seem to be fitting better, so I know I'm doing something right. But sometimes I'm feeling slimmer and other moments I'm feeling fat and bloated...

But I guess overall I'm feeling much better. Healthier. Motivated. Committed for the long run.

And I'm not sure if I'm going to get on the scale again next week. I've thought about maybe just taking measurements. I think my biggest fear is that I will step on the scale and it won't be exactly what I want and I will lose motivation. And right now I feel like I've got some good momentum going and I don't want to lose it. For now I plan on re-evaluating middle of next week.

This was a good week as far as getting things done. I'm feeling like I'm accomplishing something. Which is a good feeling.  I stayed active. I stayed away from bread and other carbs that make me feel slow and just leave me craving more food. I'm drinking a lot of water. I think it was a good week.

I had some great workouts this week.

• I started running on the boardwalk and I'm really falling in love with running outside. I don't know why I avoided it for so long. It's so much more enjoyable to run a mile outside than it is to run a mile on a treadmill. 
• I did the circuit at Planet Fitness and think I finally found a weight lifting regime that I like. More on this in another post. 
• It just felt good to really sweat again. 

Although I had a great week, I think I want to try to move to the next level next week:

• Track my workouts more. I always input my activity into the online WW tracker. And I have been using run keeper for my outside runs and walks, but I want to keep a more detailed log of what I'm doing. I want to start using my heart rate monitor again and tracking calories and my heart rate. For now it's just because I think I'm motivated by numbers and I like looking back at all the work I did, but maybe sometime in the near future I will be able to use this information to direct my workouts so that I'm getting the most out of my activity. One idea that I have been thinking about is EXERCISING SMARTER. I want a lean, mean and efficient body. Next week I want to have a detailed summary of what I did each day in the activity section of my weekly wrap up.
• Track all my food! I think this is always a goal and I know how important it is. I can do better than I have been doing. 
• Be more mindful during dinner. I know what works best for me is preparing all my own food, but that just isn't an option all the time. But I have the skills to make better decisions and stick to what works best for me. 
• I want to spend one hour each weekday on building my web-designs skills. I need to get into this habit and start to really put some work into my future. It all seems so overwhelming at the moment and as a result I'm avoiding (my usual coping mechanism). If I just start with baby steps I will eventually get to where I want to be (hmmm...recurring theme, no?)
• While I feel like I was accomplishing things this past week, I still want to work on a more consistent routine. And I want to keep working on gaining the skills and confidence that will make me marketable and able to support myself again. 
• Continue to try to take more photos of myself. I have to have the confidence in myself that photos I take today will soon be my "before" photos. 

Current Weight: ??