The hardest part is that I know how much my bad moods, my lack of patience, my intolerance affects other people. And I know I need to reign it in. But, because I wear my emotions on my face I can't hide it. And then I feel bad about it.
I know I am probably way more aware of this than other people, but I still want to work on being a "better person." I know I'm not a horrible person to be around, but I think there are things that I can work on. Like being more patient. Being more tolerant of other people in my life. Saying yes before no. Focusing on the positive. But it's hard. And there are days I just want to go it alone and wish I was in my comfy little apartment all by myself.
I'm having one of those days. Hell, I'm having one of those weeks.
I just need to work on balancing what I feel people expect of me and what I expect of myself and what I really want out of life. I think I struggle sometimes because I am a people pleaser, but also want to be independent and do my own thing. And those two things collide big time. I feel bad when I stand up for myself and I'm not sure I have the skills to do it properly. I don't like how I feel when I know I'm being inpatient or I let people get to me.
I'm not sure there is a point to this post. Just getting my thoughts out there...and realizing there are parts of me I want to work on while I'm working on getting healthy and
So...I'm trying to focus on having positive thoughts and being patient. That way I don't have to worry about wearing my emotions on my face. And I'm working on defining what is important to me and finding the confidence to really go after what I want.
The photos above were taken over the course of four months. I know I'm more likely to play around on Photo Booth when I'm 1) bored and 2) usually in a good mood. But I think I managed to capture some not so great days. I can really see it on my face when I'm feeling blah and when I'm feeling good.